Thursday, February 12, 2015

Oh what a circus

Maybe it's something in the air during the week of Valentine's Day, but I've encountered some strange things on BYU campus this week. Like, more than usual.

-Like some guy outside the HFAC jamming out to T-Swift. "I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home." Don't get me wrong, I like "Enchanted" just as much as the next person, but I will never get that image out of my head.

-Speaking of the HFAC, people come out of there singing and dancing all of the time. Like, I know why. #vocalperformancemajors
But sometimes it just catches me off guard.

-Also, can we just talk about the library this week? People need to stop playing FHE scavenger hunts in there. Cawing like a crow in the library? Not cool, people. Not. cool.

-This might be just because it's almost Valentine's Day, but the library also seems to be the spot for couples to make out. In front of everyone. On the fourth floor. On the first floor. It doesn't matter. Really, people? Really? Like, I'm all for kissing, but maybe you'd want to do it somewhere more private? Like the stacks? Just a suggestion, just a suggestion.

-Speaking of private moments, this takes the cake. It goes like this: Em and I were at the library, looking for a place to study. We finally decided on the 2nd floor--the area where they play classical music--because 1) there were lots of open tables there, and 2) why not.

So, I was grading papers while Em was working on a beast of a Russian essay. People come and go--up the stairs, down the stairs, sit down, etc. The circle of life in the HBLL. Then, this girl and guy come down the stairs. It looks like they're friends, but they sit at different tables--neighboring tables, but different tables. The guy starts playing with his phone. Nothing weird, right?


Because, not ten minutes later, two other guys come down the stairs--a blonde and a brunette (we'll call them Blondie and Bruno. Just because). Bruno looks way too excited to be in the library, and Blondie looks nervous.

Bruno goes over and stands to the side of the tables, really awkwardly, while Blondie takes the seat next to the girl.

Blondie: "Hey, can I talk to you for a second?"
Girl: "Sure . . ."
Blondie: "Well, I just have to say--" (starts to get all emotional) "Ever since I met you, and then ever since that kiss in the canyons, I just knew that I loved you and I knew that you were the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and just--I love you. And Alexandra," he gets down on one knee and opens a small black box, "Will you marry me?"
Girl: "Yes. . . . But did it have to be in the library?"
Blondie: "I couldn't wait." (Embraces her)
Bruno (comes in from behind and throws these violet flower petals on the happy couple): "Hey, oh hey, congrats. That's awesome."

Em and Me: (hiding behind our laptops, just trying not to laugh--because here is this incredibly intimate moment, and it's unbearably awkward and I just couldn't look--yet I had to. I absolutely had to.)

Blondie: "Do you want to get out of here?"
Girl: "Yeah."
They leave, while Bruno and the other guy pick up the flower petals, leaving Em and me to try to keep it together--because this is, after all, the library. But it was just too much.

So we got up to leave so we could take a walk in the atrium, laugh, and talk about the sheer awkwardness and horribleness of it all. As we left, a girl sitting at a neighboring table said to us,

"I'm so glad we were able to witness that terribly awkward moment together."

But really.

First of all, this really happened.
Second of all, just no. No, no, no, no, no. Do NOT propose in the library, people! Out of all the places you could, why would you propose to your future wife in front of a dozen students you don't even know?
Third of all, the flower petals. The flower petals.
And fourth of all, "Did it have to be in the library?"

Em and I are 98% sure that it was fake. But that other 2% of me thinks that maybe it wasn't. I can't decide which is worse.

1 comment: