Always, always Oxford

Hello, world.

I've been in England for the past few days. I meant to keep this blog semi-updated on my trip--but I'm leaving for Italy tomorrow . . . so I guess I'll just have to photo- and thought-dump away about England. Oops. 

But I'm in England! I'm in Oxford! And it feels so good, as it always does. When I touched down in Heathrow, I almost started crying. (It was a bit embarrassing.) But getting into London (and then getting into Oxford) always swells my heart with joy and nostalgia. Always, always, always. 

And I think it always will. 

[One of my favorite parts of Oxford is finding hidden spots and alleyways. And I love how familiar places become new every season.]

[That British blue sky--it gets me every time]

[Also those British sunsets. Absolutely stunning.]

Obviously, one of the best things this time was seeing friends that are still here. And I got to introduce Sam and his friend Neil to Oxford and show them around. That was also wonderful. It's always beautiful to experience a place that means so much to you with a person who means so much to you. 

[At Christ Church, before Evensong.]

[Afternoon-ing at Vaults and Gardens.]

[Yayyyyyy]

And seeing friends at Oxford was the best. So good. So, so good. Here are a few people I saw whilst here (not all pictured--but each reunion pictured and not pictured was so good for my soul): 

It's been so nice to see familiar faces here. Oxford is timeless, but I change and friends change, but still, Oxford brings us together and reminds us of the times we were good, the times we struggled, and that there is more to life than ivory towers and academic bubbles, but meadows and life and belief and doubt and God. 

I will always be grateful for my time at Oxford. I'm also grateful for time beyond Oxford. But while I was walking to a gathering of friends last night and as I passed the Exam Schools, I was just hit with a deep sense of gratitude. Joy with gratitude. And as I pass in and out of opportunities and places and experience the ebb and flow of friendships and relationships, I hope that's the lesson I can take from everything: humble, grateful joy for all that I experience and love. 

"But I don't tan"

^the title is to be sung to the classic tune of "I Don't Dance" from the oh-so-illustrious High School Musical 2. 

But I really don't tan. Here is proof:

 I just don't. This is after 4 days in Madrid and I am still white, white, white.

Speaking of other things that are white in Madrid, the LDS Temple is one. It was fun to see it today. I felt a lot of peace walking on the temple grounds. (I couldn't go inside because it's closed for cleaning, but that's okay--hopefully another time.)

Tonight's my last night in Madrid, and tomorrow I'm off to my second home in England. I'm so glad I came to Spain. It's been a good holiday and I've been fortunate enough to share it with some friends--both old and new. 

Overheard at Sergovia

Today I ventured outside of Madrid and headed to Segovia, a medieval Spanish town set on a hill.

[A view for sore eyes. But not for sore feet. Because I realized I had to climb up there in 100+ degree weather. But, I did love how quiet it was there. It was refreshing after the hustle and bustle of Madrid.]

[The Jewish Section of town]

[Overlook]

[Marketplace]

[The Cathedral!]

[I never get tired of cloisters.]

[But really. I never do.]

[This castle (along with Neuschwanstein) is said to have inspired Walt Disney's Sleeping Beauty's Castle.]

[Love these alleyways]

[Aqueduct! "That's pretty neat." Yep. That's seriously what ran through my head when I saw the aqueduct. I think I was getting a bit dehydrated and I thought I was super funny.]

[Viewpoint from the top of the aqueduct. I almost didn't go up because it was so hot and I was almost out of water. But I did. And I'm glad I went up because I got views like this, and there was a charming man playing his accordion and singing in one of the alcoves, and it was quite lovely.]

One of the themes of today was things I overheard. For example, I heard some Russian tourists! I wasn't able to talk with them because they were in a different part of the bus than I was (and they ran off before I could talk to them/I didn't want to run after them because that would be #creepy), but it was fun to hear snatches of their conversation. It made me feel at home, actually, because I could understand them, and I can't really understand anyone in Spain.

(Although, I did manage to make a purchase entirely in Spanish--it was a bottle of water--and the woman of the counter was very kind and was commenting on how hot it was and said to me that I should drink lots of water. I understood that. And got to Segovia by myself. So, I'm definitely winning for today.)

Another great line from today was from a 10-year-old American girl who was tugging at her dad's backpack as they were walking up the hill and said to him, "Do you feel that? That is the weight of your parenthood."

I died. I almost burst out laughing. Too, too funny.

After Sergovia, I decided to go to the Reina Sofia to see Gurnecia. That is another post that will have to be written another day, since it really moved me and I'm still processing it, but it was incredible. Really, truly, incredible and moving.

[We're not allowed to take pictures of Guernica, but this was the courtyard of the Reina Sofia. I really liked the courtyard and the building itself. And it was a good place to relax from a long day and to process the meaning of human suffering after seeing Guernica.]

"Sometimes I forget that Spain used to rule the world"

. . . but really. Sometimes I do forget that Spain used to rule the world. And then I go to the Royal Palace in Madrid and see the monuments dedicated to the explorers of the 15th and 16th centuries, and I remember Spain's influence on the world then and now.

Yesterday I had the chance to see my friend Sofiya, who has been living in Madrid for the past 3 years. Sofiya and I met in Ukraine when I was a missionary and we've been friends since that time. It was great to see her, as it has been 5 years since we saw each other. It was nice to just catch up--from sitting on the steps of the Royal Palace to eating lunch to walking along the sunny streets of Madrid.

[The Royal Palace]

[Not the Royal Palace. The Royal Cathedral, I think? Still soooo pretty.]

[On the steps of the palace. It was so fun imagining going to a ball here. I don't think I would have liked living there, but going to a ball or gala there would have been amazing.]

[With Sofiya!]

[And again!]

When Sofiya had to go back to work, I explored Madrid a bit myself, in search of . . . 

Churros con chocolate! 

[I found them. I ate them. I loved them. Food of the gods, right here.]

Between good conversation, good friends, good friends, and good thinking time as I walked the streets and sat in the parks of Madrid, yesterday was good. Very good. I mean, I might never get tan even after all this time in sunny Spain (as my AirB&B host remarked the other day, "You are very white. Just, very white." And this was after I was so proud of myself because I thought I had gotten a tan. Hoorayyyyy for honesty), but this sunshine suits me, if I do say so myself. 

"Maybe I really should have taken high school Spanish . . ."

Well, here I go again--off to Europe for a good chunk of the summer. The reasons for this trip vary, but mostly I wanted to:

1) Visit my friends in Oxford,
2) Visit friends around the world,
3) Try to beat Sam on our respective country count lists (yeah . . . found out that's not going to happen. Apparently he went to a lot of countries in South East Asia as a baby, so he'll still beat me by one country at the end of this trip),
and 4) (Probably most importantly) have a kind of "last hurrah" before being chained to a PhD desk for the next 5 years.

So, ladies and gentlemen, that leads us to where I am today, Madrid, Spain.

[Plaza Mayor, Madrid]

Madrid is beautiful (see photos below for proof). It's been fun to walk around the city. It's also been really hot to walk around the city. I understand siesta culture a whole lot more now after being in Spain in 100+ degree weather (seriously, though. It's hot.). I've also learned my lesson from my first day in Madrid and I won't be wearing jeans here anymore. Skirts and shorts from here on out. 

[Parque Retiro]

[I love street views like these.]

I've also learned that oh yeah, maybe I should have taken high school Spanish. Because my combination of Russian, German, French, and English really doesn't help me here. Spaniards speak Spanish. And you don't hear English on the streets of Madrid. Which is fine--it just is a humbling experience and makes me appreciate communication a whole lot more. And, I'm getting a crash course in Spanish. (For example, I now know that trente means 30 thanks to my taxi driver.) But luckily, I've had friends help me out my first couple days here, so I at least know how to buy a Metro card, get around the city, and find places to buy water (which is incredibly important in this heat). 

[Yay for new friends! This is Michael, one of Sam's friends who is teaching English to students in Madrid. He's awesome.]

Speaking of survival, I found the yogurt aisle of the nearby grocery store. Now, I know that yogurt isn't typical Spanish cuisine (not like paella or Spanish omelettes). But yogurt is how I survive in any foreign country (or any home country, for that matter), so finding the yogurt was like finding manna for me. 

[Hallelujah, I'm saved.]

The first couple days here in Madrid have been beautiful and I'm looking forward to a couple more days here, too. Here's to being the typical American abroad--the one who doesn't know the language and makes a fool of herself at the kiosks. It's okay. We all have to be there at some point. 

Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens

-Book clubs and get togethers with dear friends. Especially when those friends are from that golden summer of Cambridge. That Cambridge Crew is awfully special to me. It amazes me how we are still such good friends--they are "my people," and talking with them is free, easy, and soul-filling.

-Lunch with new friends.

-Giggle fits over text messages and video chat features.

-Cookie dough with Em.

-The anticipation of travel.

-Going on feminist rants.

-Mountain air and mountain views.

Just a few of my favorite things from this week.

a stream of words. [four]

/one./
//two.//
///three.///

i feel like my internal compass is off a bit. that compass may or may not be the same as my moral compass. i'm not really sure. they're connected, definitely. but something feels off. do you have those days? weeks, even? when you've lost your footing just a bit. you're not going to fall down, but you need sometime to readjust and find that balance and rightness again. or readjusting and changing your orbit so you are realigned. so you face the sun the way you need to. and part of finding that balance for me means jotting down thoughts and sending them into the void, apparently.

my words have been slow in coming lately. again, i'm not really sure why. not only in writing, but in speaking. too many thoughts and not enough ways to express them. language can be a prison. and my thoughts have been all over the place recently and i've wanted to write them. because there's something about expression that makes things real and therefore easier to deal with. well. most of the time. ha. but also because i just need to write. since the words haven't been flowing like they sometimes do, i need to write, even if it might come out a bit melancholy.

what have i been thinking about? lots of things. that i've eaten too many cookies this week. that swimming in the pool is fun. that there is something healing in a summer evening and something so familiar in patio conversations in dying summer light.

what have i been thinking about? how nobody's on nobody's side. and that you can't please everyone. that maybe you don't have to. but that hopefully it's still possible to preserve relationships. at least the ones that matter. everyone matters, i guess. they do. but it's humanly impossible to be able to form a deep relationship with every person you come in contact with. it's also impossible to please everyone you come in contact with, nor should you. that's not safe. that's not healthy. but there must be a way to balance that trust and skepticism. being kind is different than being obliging. and being good is different than being nice. but i can always be kinder. we can all be kinder.

what have i been thinking about? how my life sometimes reads like a jane austen novel. (it certainly has these past nine months.) right now i feel like lizzy bennet after she gets the letter from darcy explaining his side of things. how she realized she misjudged him (and how she has misjudged a lot of people). maybe it's because i'm realizing (again) that i really should keep my nose out of other people's business. although that can be really hard to do, because, hello, i am obviously the fount of all knowledge and wisdom and my armchair philosophies and solutions will solve all the world's problems, including and ESPECIALLY the issues in your personal life.

what have i been thinking about? how byu campus is chock full of adolescents in the summer. and the good that efy was for me. and how there is something satisfying in walking across campus and hearing snippets of discussions ranging from scripture study to dances. and then also something very annoying about having to navigate through crowds of teenagers chanting "e-f-y!" every ten seconds. how i have enough french under my belt to actually have conversations with people. and by conversations i mean broken, 45-second conversations with my french professor or fellow student, but still. it's a conversation.

what have i been thinking about? how much i am looking forward to this sunday. because i need it. sundays are days to remember, reflect, and rest. i need that this week. every week, of course. but especially this week. for rejuvenation. for repentance. and for redemption.