In the news . . .

If you were wondering what I did during my last year at BYU, this is a part of the answer. 

(I really wanted to make the link read: OXFORD MOM LEARNS WAY WEIRD TRICK, but I didn't. But obviously I still wanted to say it so I included it above. Anyway. I'm weird. Moving on.) 

I got the chance to work on a great project with Professor Jill Rudy on fairy tales in television. You should definitely check out the article and check out the teleogrpahy we created. 

(Also, I am counting this as making it onto the BYU homepage. Bucketlist check!) 

How Little Women Relates to My Life, Part 1

To those who aren't aware, I've been working on my Honors Thesis. It's about Louisa May Alcott's Little Women. 

Needless to say, I've been on a Little Women kick recently. I just finished re-reading the book (and it's amazing--simply beautiful), and then I decided that I needed to watch the 1994 film with Winona Ryder, and then I found out there's a Little Women musical, so I've been listening to the music and falling in love with it.

Here are some highlights from my research so far:

Just kidding. That is NOT the most important thing I have learned from my research. But, Christian Bale is perfect as Laurie. Also, Christian Bale is just really attractive, okay? 

And this scene? Where Jo completely shuts him down? You feel so bad for Laurie. Also, let's just talk about how she turns down Christian Bale. Takes a brave woman to do that. 

Anyway . . . 

Really, one of the most fun and interesting things for me as I've been doing this research on Little Women is relating the characters and situations to my own life. I'm an English major, and that is just what I do. Let's be honest, I'm a reader and that's what I do. One reason I love to read is because I can relate to and see myself in characters, and I learn from their joys, mistakes, and heartaches and work through my own as I enter their world. I could go on about the joys of reading and literature, but that's a series of blog posts for another day. 

So, of course I have been trying to figure out which March sisters my sisters and I are most like. (Because there are four of us, just like there are four March sisters.)  

If it's been awhile since you've read Little Women, or if you're not familiar with the story, I'll give a brief description of the four sisters: 

Meg--she's the oldest. When she's younger, she wants to be rich, marry wealthy, and go to fancy parties. When she grows up, she falls in love with a poor man, and she's more than okay with that, because she really loves him. 

Jo--she is the independent, fiery sister. She wants to be a writer. She wants to change the world, and no one is going to stand in her way. As she grows up, life mellows her out a bit, but she still never abandons her dreams. 

Beth--she's the sweet, quiet, shy, kind sister. She is truly an angel. She ends up dying. 

Amy--stereotypical youngest child. She's selfish and ambitious, but at her core she has a heart of gold. 

Honestly, I feel like I am a mix of all of the sisters. Some days I'm more like Meg, other days I'm Beth, and sometimes I am fiery, determined Jo. 

Recently, I've been having a Jo-streak. (And I'm totally okay with that, because Jo is awesome.) 

Let me explain. 

This semester has been full of changes for me. It's been different in so many ways. It's been stressful, but very fulfilling. One of the reasons this semester has been so rewarding is that I actually have a life plan that I'm excited about! Like, I have a career goal and plans. And I'm excited about them. 

I won't go into too much detail (if you really want to know, just ask me, and I will talk your ear off), but let's just say that it involves academia. And probably too many years in grad school. And it may end up looking something like this: 

[image courtesy of buzzfeed.com]

But I promise there's a reason. A really, really good reason to go to grad school. Now I have a dream to work toward. And I'm excited. 

Which brings me to why I feel like Jo. Because she also has her goals, and she is determined to reach them. She's not afraid to dream. She's not afraid to work for her dreams, even if they seem impossible. Right now, this is me. 

I may or may not have been listening to music from Little Women: The Musical (which is brilliant, by the way--it's so, so good--I love it) and I just have to share the song which has been the theme of my life for the past few weeks . . . minus the part about someone asking me to marry him. Because that hasn't happened and probably won't for some time. So don't worry. 

The song begins to describe my life around 1:20. So you can just skip to there. 

Here are the lyrics: 

"I thought home was all I'd ever want
My attic all I'd ever need.
Now nothing feels the way it was before
And I don't know how to proceed.
I only know I'm meant for something more
I've got to know if I can be
Astonishing

There's a life
That I am meant to lead
A life like nothing I have known
I can feel it
And it's far from here
I've got to find it on my own

Even now I feel its heat upon my skin.
A life of passion that pulls me from within,
A life that I am making to begin.
There must be somewhere I can be
Astonishing
Astonishing

I'll find my way
I'll find it far away
I'll find it in unexpected and unknown
I'll find my life in my own way
Today

Here I go
And there's no turning back
My great adventure has begun
I may be small
But I've got giant plans
To shine as greatly as the sun

I will blaze until I find my time and place
I will be fearless,
Surrendering modesty and grace
I will not disappear without a trace
I'll shout and start a riot
Be anything but quiet
Christopher Columbus! 
I'll be Astonishing
Astonishing
Astonishing

At Last!"

This is me right now. 

I am Jo, standing on the threshold of something bigger than myself. At least, that's how I feel. Idealistic? Yes. But I am a dreamer, and ever will be. 

I may be small, but I've got giant plans to shine as brightly as the sun.

                                               [image courtesy of thedisneyprincess.tumblr.com]

The future is bright. No more waiting for my life to begin. It begins today. 

I'll be astonishing at last. 

Scripture Power

One of my life goals is to be a "sister scriptorian."

I love these quotes from President Kimball:

"We want our sisters to be scholars of the scriptures. . . . You need an acquaintanceship with his eternal truths for your own well being, and for the purposes of teaching your own children and all others who come within your influence."

"We want our homes to be blessed with sister scriptorians--whether you are single or married, young or old, widowed or living in a family. . . . Become scholars of the scriptures--not to put others down, but to lift them up!" (both quotes can be found in the March 2010 Visiting Teaching Message here.)

Also, look at this cool quote from President Benson:

"I have a vision of thousands of missionaries going into the mission field with hundreds of passages memorized from the Book of Mormon so that they might feed the needs of a spiritually famished world." ~October 1988 General Conference

I've made it a goal to memorize hundreds of scriptures and to be a sister scriptorian, to not only bless my own life, but others' as well. It's a lofty goal, to be sure. But a noble one.

Recently, I've taken to memorizing scriptures while exercising. It's fun and pretty effective. And by memorizing scriptures, I completed another goal on my bucketlist!

#12-Become a "sister scriptorian." Have at least 100 scriptures entirely memorized. 

Becoming a sister scriptorian is an on-going process. I'm pretty sure it will take me a lifetime to complete. But I feel pretty good about having one hundred scriptures memorized. I just hope I keep them memorized.

Also . . . I'm about to have another goal crossed off my bucketlist:

#2--Serve a mission--whether as a 21-year-old or with my husband. 

The husband will have to wait for awhile. But the mission--that's coming closer and closer every day. Aieee!

"Write more happiness into the world." 
        ~ Frances Hodgson Burnett (author of The Secret Garden and A Little Princess)

                                            . . . a good creed, if I do say so myself. 

Life Goals: Check Off #5 and #31

Have you ever heard of John Goddard? When he was 15, he wrote down 127 life goals. And these were legit goals. Not just, "Get a C in Geometry," or "Learn how to make mac 'n' cheese." No, these were incredible, life-changing goals like, "Circumnavigate the globe," and "Swim in Lake Victoria," and "Ride a horse in the Rose Parade." 

127 goals. He has achieved 110. 

About a month ago, I wrote down 103 goals for myself. Some will be easy to achieve. Others . . . I don't even know if they'll be possible. But a girl can dream, right? 

On Saturday I completed two of those goals! 

Life goal #5: Read the entire Bible--from Genesis to Revelation--in continuity. 

To be honest, I made the goal to read the entire Old Testament last June. But in March, when I got to Zephaniah, my roommate suggested that I might as well read the whole thing. So I did. And it is very fulfilling to have finally read the entire Bible. I love that book. 

Life goal #31: Bake a cake from scratch. 

It sounds silly, but I had never baked a cake from scratch before Saturday. My friend Natalie helped me achieve this life goal. We made a delicious chocolate cake with caramel frosting. Mmmm. :)

Here's a picture of some pieces of the cake: 

Not a very pretty picture (or a pretty cake), but it's homemade and delectable! 

P.S. My friend Marina has a fun bucket-list that she posts on her blog. Check it out!  

 

Of Books and Time

When I was about five- or six-years-old, I remember a Sunday afternoon in Las Vegas, watching "My Turn on Earth" with my siblings. There's a song toward the end of the musical that talks about how fleeting life is. One line of the song says that there are "stories that you will never hear."

I distinctly remember hearing that line and thinking, in my proud, world-conquering, naive, five-year-old way, "Nu-uh. Maybe they can't read every book in the world, but I will." Yes, my friends, at five-years-old, I was determined to read every book in the world.

And I meant it.

What I don't remember is when I found out that it would be physically IMPOSSIBLE to read every book in the world. Not only would you have to learn every language known to man, but how could you possibly even KNOW how many books there are in the world?

Even eliminating every book in another language, it would still be impossible for me to read every book in the English language.

I am reminded of my childhood goal the other day when I'm in the Harold B. Lee Library.

The Harold B. Lee Library has over 98 miles of shelving for over 6 million items in its collections.

I believe over 3 million of these items are books.

The 5th floor alone overwhelms me with the mountains of information, stories, books, and knowledge there for the taking.

And just like the 5th floor of the library, hearing about and choosing life experiences can be so overwhelming for me. There are so many options--so many good options--that it can be a bit saddening to know that I can never experience every good thing. People tell me about good things that have happened or are happening in their life and I think, "Oh! I want that! I want that experience, too!" And I know that if I went for it, I could have that experience and I would be blessed for it.

But there is only so much time. There is only so much I can do. There are only so many books I can read.

So I guess the challenge is finding the best things for me to do. There is a plan I am following, of course, and I hope that my choices are aligned with what God would have me do. But even then, those choices must be filtered through "good, better, and best."

That's hard to do. It's hard to say no to good experiences. It's hard to realize that I can't read every book in the world.

But I think there is a beauty in wanting it all, too. My five-year-old self still yearns to know it all, to experience it all, to embrace and love the world and sing every song. It is this yearning that encourages me to grow and to keep going on, especially during dark times.

And I hope that I can learn to combine this thirst for life with choosing the best of life. It's no easy task.

But it's one that I'm excited to try.

Six Words

My friend Camille  wrote this on her blog:

you've probably heard the story of how ernest hemingway was challenged to write a story in six simple words, and subsequently wrote, "for sale: baby shoes, never worn."

the online journal smith magazine has collected thousands of people's 6 word memoirs.  

And I decided to do the same.

As I've been thinking about it, this is what I've come up with:

Writing my life story with God. 

I am a writer. I always have been, and I always will be. Not only have a written stories about others and created their lives, but I'm also creating my life with every etch I make: every keystroke of action, every deliberation of decision, constantly moving my plot forward, learning how to create witty, thought-provoking, and beautiful dialog and forming my character. 

Of course, none of my story could even be possible without God. His gift of agency allows me to make decisions, and the gift of the Atonement gives me erasers and delete buttons, for which I am eternally grateful. 

Not only that, but as I learn and grow and write my story, I realize more and more how dependent I am on Him: for my plot, especially. He is the Master Storyteller and Editor. He has a better knowledge of how my story should play out than I do. And I'm learning to trust in His editing and foresight. Truly, He is the Author and Finisher of my faith . . . and my life story. I'm just grateful He gives me the chance to live and to . . .

Become nearer, my God, to Thee. 

"Then Shall Your Confidence Wax Strong in the Presence of God"

While I was home during the break, my mom gave a lesson in church during Relief Society. (For non-LDS readers, Relief Society is a women's organization the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It is the largest women's organization in the world, and it focuses increasing faith and personal righteousness, strengthening homes and families, and seeking out those in need. Its motto is "Charity Never Faileth." See Relief Society for more information.)

The lesson my mom gave in Relief Society was based on a 1993 BYU devotional by M. Catherine Thomas, who was an associate professor of ancient scripture at the time. My mom's lesson was about self-esteem and confidence. She mentioned how Professor Thomas said that the search for both of these is a red herring, leading us off the trail of what really matters: our relationship with God, and realizing who we truly are--sons and daughters of God. Realizing this and realizing His love for us gives us the confidence we crave. 

There was a quote from the talk that my mom used in her lesson that really touched me: 

"Often doors have closed before us that seemed to lead to the opportunities we thought we had to have. We assumed that the closed door was a reflection of some inadequacy in ourselves. But perhaps the closed door had nothing to do with whether we were good or bad or capable or incompetent. Rather, a loving Father shapes, even now, our path according to a prearranged, premortal covenant (see Abraham 2:8). The opening or the closing of these various doors is absolutely dependent on the Lord's perfect perception of our developmental needs. All the elements that we really need for our individual experience here, He puts onto our path. The most important things that will happen to us in this life will come to us often by no initiative of our own, but they come because He is piloting the plan. He says that He does nothing save it be for our benefit (see 2 Nephi 26:24); He has promised that all things work together to our good in order that we may be conformed to the image of His Son (see Romans 8:28-29)." -- M. Catherine Thomas 

I needed that quote. 

And I've been thinking about the lesson a lot, and have now read the devotional address. It talks about how when you give up the search for self-esteem and essentially "lose your life" for Christ, and really seek Him, you become liberated and stresses dealing with self-esteem disappear. 

It's the giving up of the self that is a bit overwhelming. But it is step-by-step, day-by-day, by actively choosing  to look to the Savior that it can be possible. 

I've always been fascinated with fairy tales. One motif that I'm particularly intrigued by is in stories where a girl magically becomes more beautiful with each passing day. I've pondered about that concept, and decided that confidence adds to beauty, poise, and grace, and as a girl becomes more confident, she becomes progressively more attractive--not only in looks, but in manners and in spirit. 

Now I'm really beginning to see that really, this beauty with each passing day is found in "seeking this Jesus" (Ether 12:41), and striving to receive His image in our countenances (Alma 5:14).  It's definitely a thought. 

For those interested, here's a link to the talk by M. Catherine Thomas. Enjoy. 

On Top of the World

I've been on top of the King's College Chapel Roof.

How cool is that?! Not very many people can say that . . . not even if they go to Cambridge as an undergraduate!

The Programme Assistants for PKP are given permission to take students on roof tours. Usually only fellows can go up to the roof, but the PAs were given permission by a fellow. So we are able to take place in a once-in-a-lifetime-opportunity while we're participating in a once-in-a-lifetime-opportunity. Pretty awesome.

View from the roof

Me on the roof

It was scary being on top of the roof. I'm not a fan of heights, and my shoes were slippery. (They're good walking shoes, especially for two pounds, but not good for walking on lead roofs.) So I didn't do a ton of actual walking on the roof. I did a bit of standing, but every time I tried to take a step, I started slipping. So I preferred just sitting, or shakily standing.

Sitting on the roof

Almost sliding down the roof. (I didn't do it . . . I mean, I would have been fine, but the roof was very hot and I almost had a heart attack from feeling the roof slip away from my feet, even if it was just for a moment.)
It was really neat to be up there, though. The view was incredible, and it was so neat to be on top of the city and the colleges of Cambridge. It made me think about how often, it is by facing our fears and climbing to the top of our mountain (or rooftop) that we can really gain the perspective we need. Being on top of King's College Chapel made me view the world of Cambridge that I've been living in for the past four weeks in a different way. I could see out: I was able to see the panoramic view of my world--of Cambridge. And seeing the whole picture gave me a better sense of the remarkable place where I'm living and the experiences that I'm having.
These last few weeks at Cambridge have been incredible for me. They've been exhilarating, terrifying, fun, humbling, and exciting. I've definitely felt growing pains. But through these experiences, I'm learning more about myself. I'm learning about how to handle situations better. I'm learning how to listen. I'm gaining courage.
These experiences might just be bits and pieces at the moment; snatches of memories, remembered quotations, thoughts forming into ideas. But at the end of my adventure, I'll metaphorically climb the roof of King's once more, and I'll be able to see the whole picture. I have a feeling that the panorama of my experiences here will be a beautiful sight to see.

The Child Within Me

You know how I really have the heart of a seven-year-old?

Yeah, it's still there. And it's still beating as young as ever.


I was walking through the market today, looking for cheap postcards, and stumbled upon an antique shop. I would have kept walking on, but I saw that they had vintage Winnie-the-Pooh books. So of course I had to get them. It wasn't even a question that I was getting them. They're in my room now, on my fireplace mantle. It makes my room feel a lot less empty; a lot more home-y. A lot more me.




Aren't they cute?


I love books. Especially children's books. And you know what? I think a lot of people do. Children's books transcend cultures. They transcend time periods. They touch the hearts of both children and parents who read them, and they can influence a child for years to come.
They've influenced me.
They've activated my imagination, they've given me hope, they've made me happy. Because of children's books, I want to be an author myself. I want to create. I want to be able to change people's lives through my words. I want my words--my thoughts--to give people hope, to make them think, and to change their lives.
Give me Winnie-the-Pooh to make me smile, give me Narnia to remind me of my inner strength, give me Harry Potter so I'll always have adventure, give me fairy tales to keep my sense of wonder.
I think it's a marvelous thing to be surrounded by books. :)