Love and Loss in the Time of Coronavirus

In the words of a timely meme which I've seen on various social media posts, what a year this week has been.

We have all been affected in similar and different ways. Some of us have loved ones who have contracted the illness. Maybe you've contracted it yourself (and if you have or do, I wish you a speedy recovery). Most of us have had events, travel, school, or important rituals cancelled or postponed indefinitely. My heart aches for my undergraduate friends at Princeton who have had to leave friends, studies, athletics so abruptly and who won't be able to participate in graduation ceremonies.

My own work has been disrupted. Yesterday, the National Archives closed indefinitely (as have many other archives in the United States and around the globe), and since university-funded travel is on hold, this pandemic probably puts back my research at least six months--more likely a year. A couple of academic conferences I planned to present at have been cancelled or postponed--including one at Oxford that I was really looking forward to because two close friends and I had put together a panel and were looking forward to seeing each other.

I realize that these cancellations are the responsible thing to do for the public health. And I realize that there are worse things than cancellations. But the loss is still real, as is the uncertainty. All of this loss, ambiguity, and anxiety seems oddly juxtaposed with the arrival of spring.

And I think it is okay to feel that loss.

Social distancing is needed, but isolation, separations, and cancellations are hard. We crave connection, and this next while will change the ways we are able to give and receive love. I think about my own church community, among members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. So much of what we do to help people is centered on literally reaching out--bringing over meals, hugging someone who is sad, visiting the sick in hospitals, placing hands on heads to give blessings of comfort and healing. During times of trouble, we want to give and receive touch. We want to break bread together. We want to gather during good and bad times to show love and to be loved.

It is hard when those bonds are broken. But all I know is that we can't stop reaching out; we have to find ways to create and strengthen those bonds. There are so many ways to love. Maybe ways we've forgotten about and which we only remember when we are faced with a crisis.

I don't really have much else to say at the moment. But if you are looking for the words of someone who is wiser than I am, I will direct you to Maryan Shumway's blog posts about living in China during the time of the Coronavirus. There are too many articles and memes and such floating around social media (and so many that, to me, are full of empty platitudes), but her blog posts have calmed my heart during these times.

I don't know what the next year, week, or even day will bring, but stay healthy and happy, my friends.