Coming up for air

I'm going into week three of generals prep. The word I would use to describe it is exhausting. I'm reading (and by reading, it really means more like skimming) about 4-5 books/articles a day, and it is simply, exhausting. I'm to the point where today I don't really want to do anything. There are things besides reading that I know that I should do (like responding to emails), and things I want to do (like writing), but I'm just too tired to do anything. 

[These sheets of paper represent part of my reading schedule. I cross off book titles when I finish them.]

I have been learning and re-learning a lot, though. This week I read a lot about the U.S.-Mexican War, about antebellum economies, Foucault, women's benevolent societies, and WWI. 

I also learned that Henry Clay kind of looks like the Grinch: 

[Picture from Amy S. Greenberg's A Wicked War.]

But, of course, life breathes beyond the page, and I really do try to be completely done with reading around 5-6 each evening, which helps my sanity. And there have been such nice moments--hours, days--in spite of the tower of books which threatens to bury me alive. Like walks with Sam, and cooking dinner, and jogging along the canal, and beautiful care packages sent by thoughtful, beautiful friends. Flowers and cake also help.

Even though I often come out of meetings with professors feeling like I know nothing, I'm optimistic that by the end of this semester, I'll be able to say something--that I'll have a better grasp of these fields and be able to position my own opinions within them. At least, that's the goal. Stay tuned. In the meantime, I'll let you know if I find more Grinch doppelgangers.