This is the first semester where I have no university commitments outside of doing my research. I have no teaching commitments, no coursework . . . it's just me, myself, and archives. It is both freeing and overwhelming. The sheer amount of manuscripts, newspapers, letters, photographs, household accounts, odd notes is staggering. So many archives, so little time.
[view of the brandywine river from the hagley library.]
[taking a turn around the grounds.]
[oh haiiii.]
II.
Sam has a new job in D.C. Which is great, but it also is sad. Because I miss him. But in the lead up to his new job, we 1) celebrated his birthday, and 2) went up to New York City to take advantage of free museum passes. We also saw some friends while we were there. And while we were in NYC, we were reminded that getting up there is 3/4 of the reasons New York is exhausting. (The other 1/4 is because of the hustle, bustle, and all of the walking.) But there were nice parts, too. Like sitting in Central Park and eating our home-brought peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. For a few minutes, we forgot why New York was a hassle, and just enjoyed the quiet magic of the Upper West Side.
[i built sam a cake because i love him.]
[i mean. come on. who wouldn't love him?]
[no party pictures--because i ALWAYS forget. but did i forget to snap of selfie of me in the jumpsuit of my dreams? of course not.]
[free passes to the guggenheim are the best kinds of passes.]
[DINOSAURS.]
III.
Today was a beautiful day. I felt that as I walked on campus. That today was a good day. I had a good conversation with a professor about my work, I found useful materials for a conference presentation I'm working on, I enjoyed the cool breezes in the air. I listened to the sounds of Princeton as I walked back to my apartment--odd conversations about existentialism, the dulcet tones of a practicing clarinetist, laughter, the deep bass of the chapel's organ. It was a moment where I felt that I was still okay, here, in a PhD program. As difficult as they are and as frustrating as the academy can be, I am still okay here. And I hope I continue to be so.
