Some May Flowers

Just some pictures from campus walks. Princeton is beautiful in the spring. 

Thank you for joining me on a virtual springtime walk around Princeton. 

Covid Updates part who-knows-what

I have a few different places I record my pandemic thoughts--my journal, my blog, a special Covid-19 notebook I have--but it gets to the point where I don't even remember what I've written where, or if there's even a "part i, ii, iii" to all of it. Because, when we get down to it, this feels like the song that will never end. Or like that part in Jacob 7 where Jacob mentions that "our lives passed away as it were unto us a dream." Yep. It's feeling a lot like that nowadays--nowaweeks.

But here are some snapshots of our endless numbered days (if you get the music reference I am making, you will get virtual brownie points--which may or may not be translated into real brownie points once everything settles down).

[typical work station.]

[sam and i re-created a work of fine art.]

[repin's ivan the terrible and his son.]

[we went on walks around capitol hill.]

[secret garden house.]

[complete with home-made face mask, courtesy of betsy.]

[sam and i re-created another work of fine art.]

[i indulged my vanity with sunglasses and selfies.]

[sam and i went to a "pick your own produce" place and wore face masks and brought our own knives, so sam looks like a surgeon in the kale.]

[you can't tell, but i'm smiling.]

[BIG shoutout to some friends in my department who sent over a pile of Super Kontik cookies. MADE MY DAY. And subsequent days, because Sam and I are still enjoying them.]

[slightly crazed, but oh-so-happy to have a coconut Super Kontik cookie Tim-Tam Slam style.] 

We feel incredibly blessed that our friends and family members are safe and whole, but we know that it not the case for millions in the world, and we are doing what we can to flatten the curve. I hope that this next week of the pandemic treats us all more kindly than the last week, whatever the state of your last week may have been. 

Some Quarantine Updates

Earlier last week, Sam and I left Princeton to head down to DC. We knew that there would be stringent measures in the Northeast, and we wanted to be in DC with Sam's family if there were going to be lockdowns (which there subsequently have been--both in New Jersey and in DC). It was good we left earlier rather than later, since starting yesterday, there has been a travel advisory for New York and New Jersey. So we're in DC for the time being (though I really hope I can get back up to Princeton by the end of April). We'll see, I guess. There's so much uncertainty, so it's hard to plan--research, travel, anything, really.

[beautiful princeton in the springtime.]

[i'm convinced that princeton is prettiest in pink.]

Before leaving Princeton, I stopped by the library to gather up any odds and ends in my carrel and to say goodbye (since I really don't know if I'll be coming back there). I was only given a 30 minute slot to get what I needed. Luckily, I didn't have to grab all of my books, some friends had been able to gather together my books five days before--I was out of town and there was an unexpected announcement that they were closing the library for a couple of days, and some friends (shout out to Miri, Bailey, and James) answered my panicked texts and went to go get my books out of my carrel for me. There ended up being about 3 boxes of books and 6-tote-bags of books. In other words, I would not have been able to get all of my books out in 30 minutes. So I am incredibly grateful to them for doing that. Instead, I was able to grab a couple of leftover things out of my carrel and just spend the time feeling melancholy and nostalgic instead of panicked.

[sign of the times]

[empty reading room. very abnormal.]

[everything is GONE. so, SO weird.]

[of course i had to document myself feeling sad. i mean, i guess i didn't have to. but i did.]

[documenting for posterity's sake. and my vanity's sake. but also, look how tired my eyes are. this has been A RIDE.] 

[the vastness of eternity.]

While in quarantine, I've been organizing my research files, writing, reading secondary sources, trying to learn more French, brushing up on my Russian, stress baking, and taking daily walks (although it's much more fun to call them "daily constitutionals"). Writing those things down make it sound like I'm being more productive than I really am. I promise you--I am not being as productive as I usually am. 

[more signs of the time from our passive-aggressive neighbors in princeton.]

[making pancakes.]

[now onto cookies.]

[walks around tacoma park.]

[beautiful cherry blossoms. not the ones around the tidal basin, because those are #offlimits, but these ones in a tacoma park neighborhood were beautiful, too.]

[a rare day when i actually get dressed AND do makeup.]

[maybe it's her, maybe it's quarantine. JK, this one is definitely a maybelline--or a maybelline-adjacent--look.]

Another thing I am doing while I listen to audiobooks is this dot puzzle. It's kind of hard to explain, but it's kind of like a color-by-number picture, but instead you stick on little dots with wax to create a picture: 

[you can't really see the picture, but it's to the right and it will be van gogh's "cafe at night" when we finish it.]

It's mindless, but it also is one of those things where I feel like I'm actually producing something tangible, so it helps me deal with stress. 

Hope you're all healthy, safe, and well during these "unprecedented times" (as every email from Princeton's administration likes to call them). 

an early spring.

Spring is here and i think it's here to stay, complete with an ~almost~ 70-degree day forecasted for next Monday. It's too early, I know. But still, I'm enjoying going outside more. It's nice to be able to take a walk when I am going stir-crazy from reading too much rather than just do two dozen jumping jacks or something. 

[snowdrops in the woods.]

And hopefully we can all keep going outside during these next few weeks. It's impossible to know what will happen with the spread of Covid-19. Today at Costco the shopping carts were full of thought-to-be-essentials. The cashier was laughing at us all, and he didn't even give me a chance to ask why. He just started explaining that it all reminded him of some zombie movie. Like we were all preparing for the apocalypse. 

But if a quarantine were to happen, perhaps that would mean I would get more reading and writing done. I'm getting to a point in this stage of my PhD program/dissertation research when I am asking myself, "But when do I start writing?" It feels like I have too much to know still before I actually put something down, but I know intellectually and intuitively that's the wrong way to think about it. I'll just have to make the leap and start writing. 

[crocus by the street lamp.]

Although, to be honest, if a quarantine were to happen, it would most likely mean that I would just start watching more videos. I re-discovered that I have access to Kanopy via Princeton, which means I have access to thousands of movies and documentaries. I also found out that they have "Middlemarch" on Amazon Prime. This is great for my Friday nights. Not so great for my thesis. 

And since it is one of those Friday nights when my heart and head are tired, I think that calls for the first hour of BBC's "Middlemarch." So if you'll excuse me, I think I'll settle in for the night and begin the saga. 

Stay healthy, stay safe, stay strong. 

Life as of late in three scenes

I.

This is the first semester where I have no university commitments outside of doing my research. I have no teaching commitments, no coursework . . . it's just me, myself, and archives. It is both freeing and overwhelming. The sheer amount of manuscripts, newspapers, letters, photographs, household accounts, odd notes is staggering. So many archives, so little time.

[view of the brandywine river from the hagley library.]

[taking a turn around the grounds.]

[oh haiiii.]

II.

Sam has a new job in D.C. Which is great, but it also is sad. Because I miss him. But in the lead up to his new job, we 1) celebrated his birthday, and 2) went up to New York City to take advantage of free museum passes. We also saw some friends while we were there. And while we were in NYC, we were reminded that getting up there is 3/4 of the reasons New York is exhausting. (The other 1/4 is because of the hustle, bustle, and all of the walking.) But there were nice parts, too. Like sitting in Central Park and eating our home-brought peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. For a few minutes, we forgot why New York was a hassle, and just enjoyed the quiet magic of the Upper West Side.

[i built sam a cake because i love him.]

[i mean. come on. who wouldn't love him?]

[no party pictures--because i ALWAYS forget. but did i forget to snap of selfie of me in the jumpsuit of my dreams? of course not.]

[free passes to the guggenheim are the best kinds of passes.]

[DINOSAURS.]

III.

Today was a beautiful day. I felt that as I walked on campus. That today was a good day. I had a good conversation with a professor about my work, I found useful materials for a conference presentation I'm working on, I enjoyed the cool breezes in the air. I listened to the sounds of Princeton as I walked back to my apartment--odd conversations about existentialism, the dulcet tones of a practicing clarinetist, laughter, the deep bass of the chapel's organ. It was a moment where I felt that I was still okay, here, in a PhD program. As difficult as they are and as frustrating as the academy can be, I am still okay here. And I hope I continue to be so.