Years and Decades

New Year's Eve is one of my favorite days of the year, because it allows me to reflect on the old year and plan for/think about the coming one. And I am nothing if not self-reflective.

The end of this year in particular is poignant because it marks the end of a decade. (I know, I know, technically the new decade doesn't start until 2021, but let me have my moment, okay?) Maybe it's just me, but I feel like not as many people were excited about 2010? I specifically remember everyone being reallllly excited for 2000, and it seems like people are really excited for 2020, but I cannot remember the hype for 2010. Or maybe it was there and I just don't remember it.

This year has been challenging. It is hard for me to publicly write about challenges as they are happening (especially if those challenges are more chronic that crisis in nature). But 2019 has been hard. Waiting is hard. And all you can do sometimes is keep moving forward.

There have been good moments, too, like passing my general exams (hooray!), visiting with family and friends, traveling to Chile, having a good internship with the Office of the Historian at the State Department, and finally putting together a dissertation committee and feeling like maybe, just maybe, I have some kind of grasp on this PhD thing.

When I look back on this decade, I am amazed at how much happened. How much I did and how many people I met and the woman I became over this decade and who I am still becoming. If I could choose a theme for this decade, it would be something along the lines of, "I'm glad I didn't get what I wanted at age 19 by age 20." There are so many turning points that happened to me this decade. Where or who would I be without going to Cambridge? Without meeting so many dear friends at BYU? Without going to BYU? Without the decision to serve a mission? Without UKRAINE? Without deciding to go to grad school? Without going to Oxford? Without meeting, dating, and marrying Sam? Without deciding to go to Princeton and choosing to still stick with this PhD?

[Typical Megan ca. 2010]

[Typical Megan ca. now--my hair is the same length as it was about 10 years ago. haha.]

It's impossible to truly know the counterfactuals. And honestly? I don't think I want to know. I'm sure that without those experiences, life would have still been good and beautiful. But there is a richness from those experiences that has made my life so complete and which has given me a good launching pad for the next decade of my life.

And so, Happy New Year. I hope that 2020 gives you good and beautiful things. And that you get reminders of your worth, of your potential, and of how much you are loved.