Monday morning musings

(which will probably be posted on Monday evening or Tuesday morning, but that's just how things go.)

Yesterday I tried to make rolls, but we have no counter space in our apartment, which means it's difficult to roll out the rolls, resulting in massive buns. Luckily, the recipe is good, and the buns taste really good, but next time I will have to 1) Make room at our table for rolling out roll dough, and 2) be more patient and careful as I roll them out. I will try the recipe again . . . but maybe on a day when I have more patience.

As I made the roll dough, I decided that it was high time that I listen to Christmas music (I used to be a person who only listened to Christmas music after Thanksgiving, but that changed after Ukraine). So I put on a Spotify playlist called "Christmas at King's" and listened to the stirring, high, clear boyish soprano singing the first verse of "Once in Royal David's City" and all seemed right with the world.

I've been compiling a memoir. It's not much. I think of it more as a writing project to make sense of my twenties, but it has been interesting for me to go back--both in physical journals and in these blogs--and see the passage of time. The blog especially made me realize how quickly time actually goes (although it hardly felt like that at times, especially when waiting for an application to come through, or for a relationship to fizzle or to take off, or when wrestling with health problems). But the time has gone by--too quickly by, and I can tell it will only get faster from here.

Reading my journals and blog posts have also reminded me of just how much I have changed, and of turning points in my life. Sometimes those turning points are seismic; other times, they are not so much turning points as erosions of a former self, or a sedimentary buildup of someone new. Some journals hold the events of just one summer; others, the events of a year and a half.

We'll see how this writing project goes. I don't know what I'll do with it. But it's been useful for me, especially as someone prone to reflection. It's been good to remember who I've been, who I am, and what I've been through. It's good for me to remember how I am loved and the relationships that matter to me.

Speaking of relationships, I am forming a new sort of relationship with my dissertation committee (I finally chose people for it! And, am finally feeling at ease with it). I had a prospectus defense (more like meeting, since our department doesn't really do prospectus defenses) with my advisor and first reader, and it went well! They've approved my prospectus and were both really enthusiastic about the project. So now I'm officially ABD (all-but-dissertation)/a PhD candidate, and it feels really good! I feel like I don't do a very good job, either on my blog or in real life, of explaining my life as a PhD student and what that means/what are wins/what my research interests are, but in plain speak, getting this prospectus approved is definitely a win, and I'm really grateful that I get to move on to the next stage of my PhD (which will mainly be researching and writing).

Onward and upward.